Paper Doll Dreams

“Who taught you, Mama?” my daughter asked me as we snuggled up on the floor. I saw in her eyes that boredom was taking over. She wanted something to do. It would be easy to be like other parents and gripe about how “kids these days” has it too easy. They’re saturated with technology that stifles their creativity. But I’m not like other parents. No. I’m a rainbow mama! I dream in colors. I dance with wild abandon. I tell my child that anything is possible, even if her career path is wanting to be a pirate.

So there we sat on 70’s shag carpet in this little rental we’re in at the moment, with a sewing kit between us. “No one taught me” I muttered, “sometimes you have to make your own magic”. I gave her a wink and watched her face light up. Her game-boy was charging. Her books were warm with hours spent reading. In these last bits of summer she wanted something different…. creative… and new. “Cover your eyes, sugarbean” I whispered and obediently she squeezed her eyes shut. “No peeking now!” I warned with a sly grin as my hands grabbed a cardboard box I was getting ready to toss.

A few strokes of my hand led to a simple drawing of a cardboard doll. “One…” I counted. She began giggling again. “Two….” I said excitedly. My daughter loves crafty things like me. “Three!” I said and she opened her eyes in awe. She fetched an old pair of worn leggings and for the next hour we sat on that floor creating a simple outfit with nothing more than a needle and thread, and a bit of cloth. It was perfect and we made memories together.

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I’d like to think that we all need a bit of magic in our life. We need time to turn the mundane into a special moment. A time to dream. A time to twirl, laugh, dance, and sing. We need space to see the world in vibrant colors, because the world is magical… if only you believe. Do you believe? πŸ˜‰

See you tomorrow, friends. ❀

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Sticky Fingers and Deep Smiles

I sat watching her from across the room. I could have helped her. It would have been so easy, but I wanted her to do it on her own. With a furrowed brow, I watched my daughter stare at the orange with intense concentration. A pile of oranges lay next to her chopping block. At 11, she was finally learning to chop things on her own. I sat, marveling at how far we’ve come together. This was the same child who used to be afraid of everything. From the moment she could toddle, she was shy to the world. It wasn’t uncommon for her to sit between my legs, peering out at the world with curious, yet timid eyes. If I rushed her into an activity too fast, she would cry and have a meltdown. So I learned to go at her pace. We eased into life together. With her little hand in mine I watched her begin to acquire new skills.

Chop! The first orange was cut in half and her face lit up at the achievement. Secretly I exhaled, giving thanks that she didn’t hurt herself.Β “You’re doing great” I cooed to her. She looked back at me, her blue eyes sparkling as she grabbed another piece of fruit.

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It wasn’t that long ago that she conquered her fear of fire for the first time. I had lit a candle for her to roast a marshmallow over, but the fire made her tear up and recoil in fear. Eventually I sat behind her, determined for her to learn how to make a s’more, and watched her roast the marshmallow for the first time. Her eyes widened as it began to blacken. “Now, blow it out like a candle” I whispered as it caught fire. For a second she panicked but quickly began blowing it out. Moments later she tasted the gooey confection and her fear dissipated into triumph and joy. “I’ve got it, Mom” she said proudly and roasted another one. I beamed at the milestone and childhood memory we had formed together for her to always remember.

Chop! Another orange down and sliced in half. She looked back at me beaming. “I’m doing it, Mama!” she squealed. “Yes you are” I grinned, watching her intently. Truthfully, it’s difficult not to “helicopter” her. But it’s important that she learns how to do these things on her own.

For so long, when she was very little, family members would chastise me for being too much of a “hawk” over her. With a wave of my hand I dismissed their comments even though they stung a little. I knew from the moment of her birth that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to cherish her childhood and soak it up fully. I wanted to walk hand and hand through her first 18 years together, giving her absolute reassurance that I was here for her. And that’s just what we’re doing.

As the mountain of orange halves grew next to the mixing bowl, I saw her place the knife down. Now it was time for the fun part. “Now” I said smirking, “squeeze each one over the bowl as hard as you can!”. She giggled grabbing an orange. With all her might she squeezed the juicy fruit. Juice went in the bowl, on her, and all over the counters… just as I expected it to. She glanced back at me worried that I would be upset at the mess that was ensuing. Instead, I giggled and gave her a nod. With permission to go wild she squeezed orange after orange into the bowl. She busted out laughing as juice shot out wildly in one direction and onto the floor. But in the end, she had a bowl full of juice. Her tiny, sticky hands picked out the seeds gently and she marveled at their feel and texture. Finally, she poured the fresh-squeezed juice into a glass. This was her reward.

“It tastes SO good!” she gasped beaming with a deep smile, “there’s no sugar in it!!”. I cradled my sticky daughter close. “And that is how real orange juice tastes” I purred. Sending her off to the table I began to clean up the mess. Sometimes, it’s great to get messy… to let loose… and just soak up life to the fullest. So go ahead, get wild. πŸ˜‰

Have a beautiful Saturday everyone. ❀

~Punkin Xx

Where’s the Manual For This Thing?

There are times when I wonder to myself, “where the heck is the manual to this kid?”. I love my daughter. She’s amazing and the center of my world. But sometimes…. sometimes…. she acts just like me! She’s curious. Deeply curious and for that I’m grateful. She is stubborn and resilient, and if I’m being honest, as much as she tests the living you-know-what out of my patience levels… I also know she is going to grow up and do something great in the world.

But there are times during parenthood when I don’t know what to do. When I’m completely unsure. I’m in uncharted waters and I want to shout, “WHAT CHAPTER IS THIS IN ‘WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING?!!!”. (I read that book cover to cover when I was pregnant). Somehow when she was little things were easy. I’d lift her onto my hip and off we’d go. She has been my buddy from birth. And now… well, she’s still my buddy. And I still call her “my baby”, which my mother thought was absurd and said as much over dinner last weekend.

But my daughter is a pre-teen now. She’s almost a teenager!Β When did that happen?!

We go to the library and she walks up the circulation desk to ask about “young adult novels with hot guys in them”. I did a double take but said nothing. We had the “birds and the bees talk” a bit ago and since then it’s as though her curiosity is piqued. Never mind that she pines for boys from the windowsill, too afraid to go outside and play with them. But her mind is filled with questions. So many beautiful, curious questions. Questions that she expects me to answer. Again, if I’m being completely honest, there are times where I look like a deer in headlights because even I don’t know the answer! I’ll give you an example from the other day.

My daughter was watching a marine life program on Netflix. When it had finished she turned to me.

11: Mom, do fish have sex?

Me: Well, they lay eggs and the baby fish are born from the eggs. So not exactly, no.

11: Do sharks have sex?

Me: Uh, kind of. They mate for the purpose of procre–er, making baby sharks which then are birthed in the water.

(I began to watch her wheels turn even more. I could see another series of questions coming. Sure enough a moment later she looks at me again.)Β 

Me: Yessss?

11: Do elephant seals have sex?

Me: You saw the elephant seals at the beach, remember? They have babies, so yes. As mammals they have sex.

11: Just like us?

Me: Wha– Er, no… They do it to have babies. Where is this coming from, child?

11: Well, think about it for a moment!

Me: Think about what?! Elephant seals having sex?!

11: Yeah! I mean, don’t you think that the daddy seal would CRUSH the mommy seal during sex.

Me: Oy vey….

11: And another thing! Where are their private parts?! I didn’t see THOSE on the beach. Are you suuuure they have sex?

Me: (groans) Let’s Google it.

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More posts as I think of them πŸ™‚

~Punkin Xx