It felt good. I watched an R-rated movie tonight…. by myself… for a solid 2 hours! I curled up in my recliner, tea in one hand, and earbuds in my ears getting lost in this heartwarming story. This movie, available on Netflix Instant Watch, is about three mothers who are best friends. Their sons are all grown, young men and are also friends living in N.Y.C. And yet, somewhere along the way these women found themselves lost without the identity of mothering their sons. Their sons no longer required their help on a day to day basis, and without that…. they felt lost.
They had left daily motherhood and entered…. otherhood: a space in which they began to find themselves again.
I think it’s easy to forget to be individuals beyond our children. We run around so frantic all the time, meeting our child’s needs, taking them to practice, listening to them vent, wiping their runny noses, that we forget to be our own person too. We are adults with needs, feelings, and wants. We were people before having children, and we will be people long after they are grown and have “flown the coup”.
As I watched this movie, I smiled in reflection of my own heart and desires. Once upon a time, I was the nerdy girl who was president of the environmental club at school. I had big dreams to join the Peace Corps. I yearned to take my life and dedicate it towards helping others. At one point, I even thought about being a nun! (Hey, I was deeply inspired by Mother Teresa lol). But, then I had sex for the first time and, well, that idea went right off the table. 🙂
But as I sit here at the young but wise age of 34, I’m reminded that I’m still somebody. My dreams have changed. People have come and gone in my life. But I’m still me. I’m still a creative soul who yearns to leave a small imprint of goodness upon the world. There will come a day when my daughter is grown and striving towards her dreams. And then it will be my time to shift into “otherhood”. (Though I don’t think we ever really stop being parents 😉 ). Anyway, this movie was beautiful, and I hope you enjoy it too.